Chill Out Heart

Well...I am home and have been for a while.

Working for 5 weeks on my feet for 9+ hours a day I developed a heart conditional call Tachycardia. Basically at night when I was laying down in bed my heart would start pounding really hard and I would get short of breath. There was a few times where my chest was hurting along with it and I thought I was going to pass out. The doctor said enough was enough. I either had to stop working or go on medication. So I stopped working. It has been interesting. You would think coming from someone who has the summers off I would be perfectly used to it but I honestly cried when he told me I had to stop working. I miss my kids. I had a really good group of advanced art students and photography students and I was building in a new website component to my photography curriculum that I was really excited about. Oh well. Such is life. It really was for the best. I am really so incredibly exhausted anymore. I struggle just to make it up the stairs to sew or get on my computer to work on graduate school. Hence the total abandonment of updates...sorry. I can do about 1 to 2 projects in the morning and then I am wiped out. If I do anymore my heart starts freaking out at night. This past week the little lady dropped so just even getting around has become challenging. My hips and crotch literally feel like they could crack in half at any point. The doctor has also had me coming off some of my medication just to be sure that little lady doesn't have any withdrawal symptoms. It has honestly just added a new level of exhaustion and emotional spaz outs to the mix. Everyone said the last few weeks of pregnancy was the hardest. I see why now. Everything is ready and set up. Now we are just playing the waiting game.

Here is your awesome documentation of how gigantor I have become. The doctor is predicting an 8
to 8.5 lbs baby. It would make sense since I was a 9 lbs baby and Bradley was an 8.5lbs baby.  I am assuming that we just make big babies!

 

Going back to school

My happy place at work.  It looks like a it should last us all school year but it never does.

My teaching schedule this year is a little interesting.  We were asked to teach 6 out of 8 classes this year (without extra pay) when in the past we have only taught 5.  In addition to that I am an art teacher and we usually teach a lot of different subjects which makes more work. My schedule of classes is 1st Drawing, 2nd Drawing, 4th IB Art, 5th AP Studio Art, 7th Photo, 8th Photo.

Overall it was a good first week of school.  I really like all my kids and I can't foresee any trouble makers.  I think it helps that I am teaching mostly upper level classes.  You would think that a lot of kids take art because they want to but a lot get "dumped" into art classes because they have no where else to go.  I also started my graduate classes this week which was interesting to say the least.  I am taking 1 online class and then a independent drawing class that meets ever other week to critique.  This first class was just an intro and to talk about what our direction is.  I am the only grad student in a group of upper level undergrads.  I forgot how up their own asses art majors are and I am included myself in this group as well only 6 years ago. It was so strange and weird it deserves it's own post.

Here are a few shots from my office.  It seems to have already exploded.

Biscuits and Gravy

Back to work tomorrow and luckily no jury duty.  It is a weight off my shoulders.  I actually wouldn't mind doing it but it just falls at a terrible time.   The past week of my break has been super relaxing and reflective.  I always say one of the nice parts of being a teacher is the time off.  It really is amazing and I am looking forward to when we have kids and having the summers and breaks off to spend time with them.  I did some baking the last few days and thought I would share with you my favorite weekend breakfast.

Easy Biscuits and Gravy



Ingredients
1 cup Milk
2 tbs Wondra or any Gravy Mix
Breakfast Sausage (I don't eat beef or pork so I substitute this out with Jenny O Turkey Breakfast Sausage)
Salt and Pepper
Your favorite biscuits

First Off...what is Wondra?  I really don't know.  It seems to be some sort of flour cornstarch mix that will turn just about anything into gravy.   It never fails to put a smile on my face thinking it is probably circa 1964 but the stuff is amazing!!  My mother in law gave it too me and I have yet to seek it out at the grocery store however the intraweb says you can still buy it.  I highly recommend it instead of buying those little gravy packets that get lost in my pantry but that is just me.

Cook your breakfast sausage until done and bake your favorite pre-made biscuits (I use the Grands biscuits).
Make the sauce by combining milk, wondra, salt and pepper and bring to a boil.  Turn down the heat to medium-low and let it simmer to your desired thickness.
Add sausage to sauce and serve over your biscuits.



Easy peasy and super good too.

Field Trip

Last Wednesday I took a group of 80 high school kids to the Denver Art Museum.  I always look forward to this day.  It is a nice break from the normal day to day of work and it is fun to watch the kids in the art museum discovering new things.  I thought I would share a few pictures of things I found.















I some how managed to get on the freight elevator by myself.  I'm still not sure if I was supposed to be on it or not.

Happy Harry Potter!!!

In each of my classes today I had two to three kids dressed up for the new Harry Potter movie.  It was soooo cute.  I somehow turned into a Death Eater by my student aid who was dressed as a student from Slytherin.   Although I am also a super Harry Potter nerd I think I will wait till the excitement dies down till I go see it.

Again? Really?

I woke up this morning and thought to myself "Its really Friday again?  Really?".  Wasn't I just posting about how I love Friday's?  Did this week really just fly by like that?  I guess I will take it but it frightens me to think that it really means I am just that busy.  I think I am also enjoying work and I know that when I am having a good time things go faster too.  Its funny to think that it took me 5 years to get the hang of my job.  If you ever become a teacher I will warn you that the first few years are rough.  You don't always know what you are doing, it takes awhile to get the hang of being in charge and disciplining students and your organization has to be really good.  I can see why I high percentage of teacher's quit within the first 5 years.... it's a hard job!  Bradley has a bunch of work he wants to do for Secret Compass so I think I will start to plan out the Christmas gifts.  This is the first year I have thought about doing it this early and not waiting till the last minute.  Does that mean I am an adult?

you know...just hanging

I am home sick today with nothing much to do but rest and sleep.  I am pretty sure my immune system has been fighting something off for the last two weeks and my body finally has given in.  After 5 years of teaching in a petri dish of 2000 kids my immune system is really strong.  I hardly get sick as much as I used to but when I do I tend to get it pretty bad.

Halloween costume sneak peak.  Gold star and a muffin if you know what this book is from.

Setting Intentions

So this week has been somewhat of a negative one and I have found myself in lots of situations where people (mostly at work) are venting to me and in meetings about stress and how crappy everything is.  Its not that I mind, it is kind of something I am used to because I pride myself on being a good listener and people do tend to come to me to talk.  The hard part of this is not picking up the same negative energy and living in it as well.  I try to set the intention of my day every morning with the idea of "It is going to be a good day and if it is not I am going to try to just make it through and find the bright spots in it."  This seems to work well for me but I have noticed that this week seems particularly dark and when my students and coworkers have been venting to me I can hear the venom in their voice.  It has been startling.  

So I finally made it to Friday and I am going to make sure that today is good. No matter what.  I allowed myself to sleep in an extra 25 minutes because my first class doesn't start till later in the morning, got up, remembered it is "spirit day" at work so I put on my ugly but oh so comfortable "Poudre Soccer" hoodie...yes the school I teach at is called Poudre (Poo-der)...it is French for powder..anyway, made my way to work on a nice fall morning and set my intention for the day and then remembered I have a meeting with a parent about a behavior contract.  Crap.  Oh well, it is part of the job and it went really well.  I treated myself to some more coffee, picked up some grading from one of my classrooms and on my way back to my office the student I had the behavior meeting with stopped me and gave me a giant piece of cheesecake from his cooking class.  It lit me up inside. He is probably just trying to butter me up but a part of me hopes he realizes I am only trying ot help him succeed.  So in all I feel that today is going to be good mostly because I am willing it to be.  I am sure I will have to redirect students who are being off task, I probably will get more fliers in my mailbox about how school funding is being cut for next year and I am sure once this extra coffee wears off I will probably be a little tired but in all it is going to be a good day.

So I hope you have a good day and I hope if you are having a craptastic day I hope you choose to see and recognize even the little itty bitty bright spots that are there.
Plus here is me with an emu... and emu!!!!

No Time

This past week as been super wacky and today was no exception.  I think yesterday was the only mellow day I had.  I spent Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday at school from 7:15am to 8pm.  I teach IB, which is an excellerated high school program, and on Tuesday the Juniors had their induction to the second part of the IB program.  It was cute but awkward for me.  The kids have themes and then they dress up for the part.  Each group is supposed to have teacher in their group and the "Lady Gaga" group approached me.  I found a lampshade that was turned into a hat and then I did my best to mimic the makeup from the Telephone video.  It turned out well I must say but I refused to take any pictures due to eternal mortification.  When I got there I was one of three teachers and NONE of them dressed up.  I thought all the groups had to have a teacher sponsor but I guess I was wrong.

On Wednesday and Thursday we had parent teacher conferences and I am guessing a lot of teachers turned down the opportunity to dress up like an idiot with a bunch of 16 year old due to this.  Parent teacher conferences are usually good.  I like meeting the kid's parents and I like giving them feedback about their student.  It is fun to see the parent light up when you tell them good things about their kid.  It is also really fascinating to me to see how much the students are like their parents.  The hard part of parent teacher conference is staying at school till 8 on Wednesday and then going back to work on Thursday and staying till 8 again.  I rarely do this but I informed a few of my classes that I was super tired and run down so to forgive me for my lack of energy.  I am always amazed when I do this because my kids are always a little more patient and caring with me.  As a teacher I try to be myself as much as possible while still establishing clear rules and boundaries so everything runs smoothly.  I learned the hard way early in my teaching career that teaching out of power or the idea of "do it because I said so" doesn't work for me.  It is so fake and weird when I do it.  I try to establish mutual respect and understanding in my classroom and explain why we do things and listen to kids when they have concerns.  ANYWAY... side rant.

The husband was also super sick this week with a cold.  We try really hard to take care of each other when we are sick and on Tuesday when he came down with it I tore up the house looking for any kind of cold medicine to find none.  I felt like I failed as a wife listening to the poor guy cough and gurgle snot as he tried to sleep.  I ran home on my break on Wednesday to bring him some Nyquil and put him out of his misery.  Between running back and forth from school to home and taking care of the husband I really didn't have much time for anything else... including my house which looked like a bomb went off in by Friday.  Thank god as a teacher we are compensated with a day off for staying late.  I cleaned and ran some errands including the fabric store to get some fabric for my new sewing machine!

Today I woke up with horrible monthly lady cramps and had to take two vicodin to knock myself out.  We had plans to finish the cleaning, go to a pumpkin patch, and a show tonight.  That was all out the window.  I woke up about an hour ago to find Bradley also passed out from his cold so we are just a ball of fun tonight.  We are going to try for the pumpkin patch tomorrow.  Hopefully all will be well in the lady region.

The only good side to all of it is the sleep... and kitty time... lots of kitty time.

Compassion Fatigue

Compassion fatigue.... is that even a thing?  Well that was what I was told that I have today.

I have been running myself so hard at work and at home that I am just down right exhausted.  This school year has been hard.  Luckily most of my students have been awesome.  They all seem to like me and I have had hardly any behavior problems.  As the school year has gone on we have had a lot of fights and drug issues.  I had a student suspended for two weeks for beating another girl unconcious.  The teacher I share on office with discovered two girls drunk and throwing up in the bathroom at 8 in the morning.
Last week I had a former student walk into my classroom and start sobbing.  I spent a good part of last week with her since she was so unstable.  On Sunday I got a call from another teacher (which is never a good thing) that a student had committed suicide.  I unfortunately have had to deal with this before and sadly it never gets any easier.  On Monday I had to tell my first period what had happen and then filter kids to the counselors office, answer questions, pick up crying kids in the hall and bring them to my classroom and overall just be sensitive to what was going on.  As the week has gone on it has been easier to deal with but there is a somber mood to the whole school.  Today as I was working in my office on my off hour another former student came in, sat down, and told me she is depressed and thinking about hurting herself.  We talked about depression and I asked her questions to gauge what was going on.  I never tell my students about my past with depression but knowing exactly how it feels and the various levels to it I am generally able to communicate with them about how they feel.  I walked the student straight to the office and talked with her and the counselor.
Physically I feel like I haven't slept for two days.  I am dragging and living off caffeine and sugar.  I was planning on not drinking for two weeks (that is a whole different issue) and giving up my 3 cigarette a day habit ( I know I know) but I am thinking that might be put off till everything mellows out.

Over it

I hate today and I wish it was over.
Kids are being jerks and I have no idea where we are going to be living in 2 1/2 weeks
We lost another house again yesterday.  At the beginning of the month our landlords leased out our house instead of waiting to see if we wanted to renew our lease.  We had told them we might be moving so instead of waiting for us to find out they just leased it.  It sucks because we have always been good tenents.  They get their rent a week early for crying out loud.
And then yesterday we found out that a house we really liked was leased once again without waiting for us.  This couple said they really liked us and they would wait two days for our decision but jumped the gun and leased it anyway.
So at this point it looks like we are going to be moving in with family at the end of the month.  I just don't know where the cats are going to go. 
I took Friday off so I can let my tattoo heal on my foot that I am getting tonight so hopefully a day off will help.
I know I should have taken tomorrow off but I only teach 2 classes tomorrow versus teaching the 5 classes from 7:30 to 3:05 staight on Friday.
On top of all this I was called last week and told that someone dropped out and I have been accepted into the masters program at the University of Texas.  This was after I was told that I wasn't accepted and we have made plans to stay in Colorado for 1 more year.  I know that is a good thing but the downside is all the financial aid in grants and fellowships have already been given out so I would be paying $30,000 for school plus living expenses for Bradley and I on loans.  It would make more sense to live here one year, save money and then move.
It is hard to concentrate on high school students when you are unsure of what they hell in going on in your own life.  Teaching is hard.  I know I get the summers off but I need it. 
I really just need this month to be over and a place to live.  Is that okay?