Letting things go...

I am already missing the summer.  It was so nice to wake up when I want and to plan my day according to what I think needed to be done that day.  All that alone time got me thinking about how much of an introvert I am.  A lot of you who know me socially reading this probably wouldn't think so but I am.  I enjoy the quiet and I enjoy my home.  Going back to school I knew was going to be hard.  It always is.  I struggle with constantly being surrounded by people.  If I could I would shut my office door and not talk to anyone.  But I can't and that is okay.  This can be really draining though and during the school year in the past I would find myself aggitated on the weekends.  There was never enough time to get everything done around the house, relax and have some fun.  This weekend I just straight up let the house go. I really wasn't okay with it at first but as of today I am glad I did.  It let me have my quiet time, see a movie, and catch up with a few friends and one friend in particular and her 6 week old twins (so cute!).  And I did this as a request from my therapist. Yes, you read that.  Therapist. I've been seeing one on and off for over 10 years. I am high strung and anal retentive.  I think this is why quiet time is so valuable to me.  Upon talking to her recently and describing how I was going to make myself an organized list of chores around the house to be completed during the week she asked me "What would happen if you just let everything go?".  It was a weird thought.  And it was weird to think of letting something go and being okay with it.
What would happen if I just let one thing from my life go?  Would the world end?  Would I think I was a bad person? Who would care besides myself?  No, no, and no one. It was an amazing feeling.  It wasn't easy this past weekend.  I felt aggitated at times that there was a dirty spot here and there but it was okay. Bradley was amazing at seeing when I was internally struggling with it and just let me be.  He is amazing in the fact that he gets the fact that I need time to think and be by myself.  I think the biggest revelation to me was how it brought some balance to my introverted tendencies.  To much alone time isn't a good thing and in letting something go and being okay with it I was able balance this.  Really, its liberating! I think this might be a key to my sanity.  I have been worried about this school year, teaching another class, starting grad school, and we have been talking about trying to start having a baby. I know I will find some time eventually to clean the kitchen and finish painting that one wall but in the mean time I going to put balance first.  Its amazing it only took me 28 years to start to figure it out!

Moments in the House

Hello! Yes, I am alive.  No, I did not drown in all the boxes of moving.  But it was close.  We finally just set up my computer this past weekend.  Our original desk had an unfortunate demise during the moving process. It was a big and bulky desk that I had since college.  Bradley was positive that he could take the top half of it off to make moving it up a flight of stairs much easier but really he just ended up taking the whole desk apart. I just looked at my desk in pieces after and hour of cursing and said "we are buying a new desk".   I though I would share some moments I captured around the house this morning.  I love this place.  It is so light and airy.  Behind the house is a big open grassy area which its not uncommon to spot foxes and deer roaming through it. Its really just nice to finally be in a place that feel like home.

A Place to Call Our Own,

Hooray! We bought a house! 

As of 10am this morning we are officially homeowners!  Now we just need to take our Illinois trip, paint and move. And luckily we have till the end of the month to do all that.  I will be gone the next week and I am definitely not tech savy with my motorola fat boy so I shall see you all soon!

Life's Mess

My life has somewhat exploided on it's self and has left it's wake in physical form of crazy messes around my house.  Luckily I just had 3 days off so mentally I feel better but my house is still in terrible shape.


1. A picture of me graduating from college with my favorite professor
2. My failed carrott and banana shake.  It was gross.
3. One of my various piles in searching for paperwork for the house buying
4. Mid progress sewing. I will have a proper sewing table at the new house.
5. Kitty is not fat, kitty is fluffy.  Notice how she has her own piece of the pattern.  Its the only way I can get her to leave my pieces alone.
6. A part of my great granfather's christmas cactus. Its April and its still blooming.

Saturday Morning

There is really nothing like Saturday morning.  Its so nice to sit around and enjoy the quiet instead of rushing out of the house to go to work. I usually wake up before Bradley so I have the house to myself.  I try and use this time to catch up on my internet browsing, laundry, and taking care of my plants around my house.

So on to the more exciting news!  I think we have a house!  Our townhouse that is.  Our offer was accepted by the buyer so this week I have been running around trying to get everything in order.  Luckily we had already met with our mortgage lender but this week we had the inspection and I had to visit a real estate lawyer since we are buying this house "for sale by owner".  This is another townhouse for sale in the cul-da-sac.  Ours is the mirror opposite with a more updated kitchen.  The best part is my parents are 3 houses down and one of my best friends, Brittany, is 5 houses down.  My dad has already started calling it the commune.  Its not what we originally set out to buy but it is probably the best move we could have made.  It is big enough to start a family in, I have a built in babysitter a.k.a mom, and it is close to the college campus so eventually we will turn it into a rental.  Isn't it fun being an adult? Its hard to believe I have actually made it to this point.  I really never thought I would.  I feel so grown up and responsible. Its kind of awkward.   

Now that everything is moving along my mind has now switched over to decorating mode.  Its probably a little early but I just can't help myself!  The thought of painting walls whatever color I want just makes me giddy on the inside.    These are the colors I have playing around with although I just got a funny look from Bradley over the purple.  I really just want to paint various shades of grey with pops of color and pattern here and there. 

Who knows.  I will probably change my mind tomorrow but it is good to start thinking of these things, right? Also there is an Ikea opening up in Denver this fall.  I have a feeling that we are going to be spending a lot of time there. 

Holy Crap!

We put an offer on a townhouse last night.....eeek!

Venturing into Responsibility

Sometimes in the midst of everything I stop and I think about when I was a little kid and I was in sooo much of a hurry to grow up.  There are just certain things that are not at all fun when you are an adult that you never think about when you are 5.  Like buying tires.  I will always remember going into Discount Tires to get a flat tire fixed and them rolling in one of my other 3 perfectly good tires to show me how badly I needed knew tires.  I am pretty sure my mouth was hanging open when I handed them my credit card and walked out an hour later and $450 poorer.  I can think of 5 million other thing I could spend $450 on than tires.  But these are the joys of being an adult.

My newest adventure in adulthood that no one really could have prepared me for is buying a house.  Originally we thought we wanted something outside of town on a little land however we are finding that what exists on the outskirts of town is multimillion dollar mansions or extremely dilapidated trailer homes.  Both of which I will just not even go there one because of finances and two because I am a spoiled only child.  Plus I am beginning to wonder if I am ready to live outside of town.  I don't think I am done riding my bike to wherever I want.  I'll just trade for a large year instead.

I have been looking since the beginning of the year (probably excessively at times) but we started talking to a realtor last month.  So far we have looked at 4 homes and of course the second one we looked at is the one I want.  This is the same story with my wedding dress however it was the first one I tried on.  The other houses were so ass.  This house yesterday had a distinctly unique foul smell on every floor.  Another one was incredibly dated it looked like it time warped out of the 1960s complete with squishy grout between the bricked exterior and perfectly manicured junipers that are IMPOSSIBLE to remove.  

My problem is I am such an over-planner and thinker by that when it is time to get to something I usually know exactly what I want.  I forget most of the time that not everyone is like that  So when we found this house I knew it was perfect.  The only problem is no one else (that being my husband and our financiers a.k.a my parents) aren't mentally and probably emotionally there with me.  The stress of buying a house I am finding is that it involves every large stressor in life... money, shelter, and the fear of the unknown.  So after a few mild meltdowns and looking at some other ass houses we are going back to look at house #2 tomorrow.  Wish us luck.  When I was a kid I probably would have thought I was going to live in a lighthouse on top of a mountain.

I will however be buying this because it is just freaking awesome.
Nogg

Poster Cabaret

I keep finding myself mindlessly drifting to Poster Cabaret to scroll all the amazing pieces of art they sell and imagining them in my imaginary dream house that we are about to embark on finding this summer.  It is even more awesome that they are affordable too.

Amanda Blake

Scott C

Holly Chastain

Methane Studios

So Long January

(from the best flickr photostream ever)

Well now that my least favorite month of the year is wrapping up I thought I would do something new this by documenting all the things that have happened at the end of each month.  Sometimes it scares me when I think about the past year and I know a bunch of stuff happened however there is so much of it I have a hard time remembering. This way I will be able to look back and and remember all of those little things.

So in January of 2011 the following took place

1.  The biggest change in awhile happened when my husband quit his day job as a cartographer (map maker) and went to work for our friend's buisness, Secret Compass.  I never saw my husband working for a big company his whole career and eventually figured he would be working out of the house doing something he absolutley loved. Well, I think he found it. With this new job he he is basically scowering the internet for really cool high end movie/nerdy collectables.   This new job has some really cool travel involved and high earning potentail which is a relief since we are wanting to save for a house.  Most of all I am excited to see Bradley doing something that he really enjoys. 

2. Spent a lot of time online looking for the perfect house to pop up.  I am still looking.  The dream house would consist of a 2 story, nicely cared for and a little updated, on some acreage preferably on the north out skirts of town and doesn't cost in arm and a leg.  I figure if I just keep looking it will show up.

3.The urge to have a baby intensified only to be subsided by a intensely realistic dream that I was pregnant and coming to the realization that all babies will turn into a weirdo 13 year old.  However if you ask me today a sleeping and pooping monster sounds great. 

4. Struggling with being horribly introverted.  I have been crawling into bed around 8 or 8:30.  And my issues with depression flare up this time ever year.  Strangely,  I expect it but somehow it never gets any easier.

5. Visited Bradley's grandparents at the nursing home.  Had the strangest experience there yet.  The entire 2 hours we visited there was a woman in the next room moaning "mama" rather loudly.  Bradley was also accosted by a frail woman in a wheelchair asking him to help her escape.  It reminded me of the opeing scene of Shutter Island. It is a really good nursing home facility despite our experience on this day.

6. Made a trip to Lyons Pinball in Lyons, Colorado and relived a little piece of my childhood.

7. Started my 3 months of not buying any clothing unless it is absolutely necessary.  I must say it has been an eye opening experience.

Looking forward to in February: My 28th birthday and winter slowly making it's exit

Things To Remember

I guess this post is more for me than anything else.  Living with my parents has been nice but I am missing the comforts of my own belongings, computer, cooking, crafts and camera cord.  Here is a collection of things I am excited for and I don't want my little pea brain to forget in two weeks.

Recipes
Potato Rosemary Bread
Curried Couscous Salad
Salmon Cakes with Lemon Caper Yogurt Sauce
BBQ Chicken Pizza
Shrimp and Grits
Homemade Apple Wine (I guess this counts as a recipe)

Household Items

Umbra Wall Flowers in black

Dandelion Wall Decal

Music

Dead Man's Bones

Dr. Dog

Edith Piaf

I have a weird love of French music and I have been meaning to download this forever

Crafty Crafts

Design*Sponge

Holy crap this site is amazing. Various projects I would like to do

Faux Staghorn Ferns

Spool Hooks

Framed Paper Flowers

and.....


a baby

but we will see if that happens

Over it

I hate today and I wish it was over.
Kids are being jerks and I have no idea where we are going to be living in 2 1/2 weeks
We lost another house again yesterday.  At the beginning of the month our landlords leased out our house instead of waiting to see if we wanted to renew our lease.  We had told them we might be moving so instead of waiting for us to find out they just leased it.  It sucks because we have always been good tenents.  They get their rent a week early for crying out loud.
And then yesterday we found out that a house we really liked was leased once again without waiting for us.  This couple said they really liked us and they would wait two days for our decision but jumped the gun and leased it anyway.
So at this point it looks like we are going to be moving in with family at the end of the month.  I just don't know where the cats are going to go. 
I took Friday off so I can let my tattoo heal on my foot that I am getting tonight so hopefully a day off will help.
I know I should have taken tomorrow off but I only teach 2 classes tomorrow versus teaching the 5 classes from 7:30 to 3:05 staight on Friday.
On top of all this I was called last week and told that someone dropped out and I have been accepted into the masters program at the University of Texas.  This was after I was told that I wasn't accepted and we have made plans to stay in Colorado for 1 more year.  I know that is a good thing but the downside is all the financial aid in grants and fellowships have already been given out so I would be paying $30,000 for school plus living expenses for Bradley and I on loans.  It would make more sense to live here one year, save money and then move.
It is hard to concentrate on high school students when you are unsure of what they hell in going on in your own life.  Teaching is hard.  I know I get the summers off but I need it. 
I really just need this month to be over and a place to live.  Is that okay?