Setting Intentions

So this week has been somewhat of a negative one and I have found myself in lots of situations where people (mostly at work) are venting to me and in meetings about stress and how crappy everything is.  Its not that I mind, it is kind of something I am used to because I pride myself on being a good listener and people do tend to come to me to talk.  The hard part of this is not picking up the same negative energy and living in it as well.  I try to set the intention of my day every morning with the idea of "It is going to be a good day and if it is not I am going to try to just make it through and find the bright spots in it."  This seems to work well for me but I have noticed that this week seems particularly dark and when my students and coworkers have been venting to me I can hear the venom in their voice.  It has been startling.  

So I finally made it to Friday and I am going to make sure that today is good. No matter what.  I allowed myself to sleep in an extra 25 minutes because my first class doesn't start till later in the morning, got up, remembered it is "spirit day" at work so I put on my ugly but oh so comfortable "Poudre Soccer" hoodie...yes the school I teach at is called Poudre (Poo-der)...it is French for powder..anyway, made my way to work on a nice fall morning and set my intention for the day and then remembered I have a meeting with a parent about a behavior contract.  Crap.  Oh well, it is part of the job and it went really well.  I treated myself to some more coffee, picked up some grading from one of my classrooms and on my way back to my office the student I had the behavior meeting with stopped me and gave me a giant piece of cheesecake from his cooking class.  It lit me up inside. He is probably just trying to butter me up but a part of me hopes he realizes I am only trying ot help him succeed.  So in all I feel that today is going to be good mostly because I am willing it to be.  I am sure I will have to redirect students who are being off task, I probably will get more fliers in my mailbox about how school funding is being cut for next year and I am sure once this extra coffee wears off I will probably be a little tired but in all it is going to be a good day.

So I hope you have a good day and I hope if you are having a craptastic day I hope you choose to see and recognize even the little itty bitty bright spots that are there.
Plus here is me with an emu... and emu!!!!

Compassion Fatigue

Compassion fatigue.... is that even a thing?  Well that was what I was told that I have today.

I have been running myself so hard at work and at home that I am just down right exhausted.  This school year has been hard.  Luckily most of my students have been awesome.  They all seem to like me and I have had hardly any behavior problems.  As the school year has gone on we have had a lot of fights and drug issues.  I had a student suspended for two weeks for beating another girl unconcious.  The teacher I share on office with discovered two girls drunk and throwing up in the bathroom at 8 in the morning.
Last week I had a former student walk into my classroom and start sobbing.  I spent a good part of last week with her since she was so unstable.  On Sunday I got a call from another teacher (which is never a good thing) that a student had committed suicide.  I unfortunately have had to deal with this before and sadly it never gets any easier.  On Monday I had to tell my first period what had happen and then filter kids to the counselors office, answer questions, pick up crying kids in the hall and bring them to my classroom and overall just be sensitive to what was going on.  As the week has gone on it has been easier to deal with but there is a somber mood to the whole school.  Today as I was working in my office on my off hour another former student came in, sat down, and told me she is depressed and thinking about hurting herself.  We talked about depression and I asked her questions to gauge what was going on.  I never tell my students about my past with depression but knowing exactly how it feels and the various levels to it I am generally able to communicate with them about how they feel.  I walked the student straight to the office and talked with her and the counselor.
Physically I feel like I haven't slept for two days.  I am dragging and living off caffeine and sugar.  I was planning on not drinking for two weeks (that is a whole different issue) and giving up my 3 cigarette a day habit ( I know I know) but I am thinking that might be put off till everything mellows out.

New Music? Yes, Please!

When I was a kid it seemed really easy to find good new music to listen too.  Every Sunday I would tape 120 minutes on MTV, watch it the next day and then run out to the cd store and buy whatever new band I found that tickled my fancy.  Anymore it is hard to find new music.  I feel like I have to sift through bands to just find something really interesting.  So when I do find something amazing I feel inclined to share it.   I sound like a grumbly old man but being a teen in the 90s and MTV actually playing videos at that point in time it was sooo much easier to find good music.   Working with high school kids I will get the occasional student with outstanding music taste that will introduce me to really good current bands but that seems to be rare anymore.  I get annoyed when they don't even know who David Bowie is.  Oh well.  I guess that is why we have David Bowie Fridays in my classroom.

On to my new and exciting music!

Grizzly Bear.  My husband introduced me to this band.  I can't get enough of them.  They really grow on you and are perfect for the mellow sleepy fall weather.


Ida Maria.  A good friend of our played this for us the other night.  I was surprised because usually he listens to hard core screamfest music. I also can't help but love her awkward accent and raspy voice.


Fleet Foxes.  A student played this band for me at the end of last school year.  It is dreamy and nostalgic.