Asking for Help

Bradley excited for his growing little girl and me trying not to look uncomforable this past weekend at a BBQ.

Yesterday I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone about my baby shower. My 3 best friends are graciously hosting one for me in the middle of next month and the subject has come up if we should have it at my house or not. Now I am a little neurotic when it comes to my house. I blame my parents. They are the same way and growing up in a house where everything is neatly organized, perfectly clean, and de-cluttered rubbed off more than I would like to admit. However being pregnant has challenged my ability to keep up with this. I get tired easily and my feet hurt and swell from mid-day till I go to bed. When my friend offered to come over and clean my house for the baby shower it still didn't make me want to have it here. Not because I think it wouldn't be up to my standards but more of the fact that I would feel awful asking someone to come clean my house. Even though it is one of my best friends for the past 12 years and I would gladly do the same thing for her. This same issue came up multiple times in the past few weeks. I am to the point where there are a lot of things I can't do any more so I have to ask for help. It pains me to ask for things and I get an overwhelming sense of guilt. I really am hyper aware of what I think is "imposing" on people and their comfort level. If I can avoid it I will. It also frustrates me. I have always been so independent. My mom likes to remind me that I taught myself how to walk and how to ride a bike. It seems to have started at an early age and has been prevalent during my whole life. I like to know that I can do things on my own. Pregnancy is challenging this. It is hard for me to tell myself things like "sit down" "don't lift that" "you are going to have to wait till Bradley comes home to get that done". It is even harder to ask people to do it for me. This is going to have to change and I think there are a few things that I need to constantly remind myself

• My friends and family want to do these things for me. I would do the same for them.
• It is in the best interest of little lady for me not to overdo it. I a classic over doer. I will keep going till I crash and I have had to learn in the past that physically this is bad for my body.
• This is only temporary.

Hopefully this will work for the next 3 months. If not I'll see you in Neurotic Sara Town.