Tuesday, August 2, 2011
After Three Years of Marriage
So today marks our three year wedding anniversary however it doesn't at all feel like it has been three years! It feels like just yesterday. Last night Bradley and I sat in the grass rethreading tent poles for our camping trip tomorrow talking about when we first met and started dating 8 years ago. Its so insane to me to see how far we have come together. I have been reflecting a bit further this morning and here are a few things that I have learned in the past three years.
- Things change and you and your spouse have to be able to adjust with them. Houses, jobs, moving, school, pets, friends....you name it. We have been through a lot of change together. Just this time last year I remember crying on the front steps of our last house because it was such a dramatic and unexpected time and move. Bradley was so sweet and reminded me that it was only a temporary place to live. And although I hated living there we got through it together. We have gotten through a lot together and we have always came out on the otherside of it.
- Its not about you. Its about the both of you. As simple as that sounds it is so easy to let your ego get in the way and make something about yourself. You have to remember that you are now functioning as a unit. You work for the betterment of both of you.
- Communicate. This has been the foundation of our relationship since day one. We talk...alot. And we talk about things that are bothering us or need work in the relationship. Its not always easy to bring it up but it has made our relationship tighter. Its also crucial that we are both open and willing to do this. In the past we have laid some ground rules so it doesn't turn into an all out yelling fight
-The little things go a long way. A homecooked meal, a clean toilet, ride in the car together, a random "I love you". I am a firm believer in the little things in life make it wonderful. Its all those little things that add up. I think this is partly why I have never understood Valentine's Day. We try and do things for eachother all year long instead of saving it for just one day.
- My husband is not a mind reader. In the beginning of our marriage I remember getting so frustrated that Bradley just didn't automatically know what I wanted. It sounds silly but I live my life always looking around and assessing the needs of individuals. So for some reason I expected Bradley to do this. It took me awhile getting used to just saying what I wanted or needed.
- Its okay to do your own thing sometimes. I need quiet time. By nature I am pretty introverted. I blame it on being an only child and spending a lot of time entertaining myself when I was little. Bradley is really good about giving me space. We have never been the couple that is connected at the hip. I think it is important that you each have your own space to do whatever it is you want with it...paint, read, go out with you firends, whatever! Its healthy in a marriage to maintain your personal sense of identity.
p.s. you are probably all getting used to me blogging everyday now but I will be gone till the beginning of next week on our annual 5 day glorious beach camping trip.