life update

I am trying really hard to make some positive changes in my life. It has been since the beginning of November since I smoked. It feels good to not be smoking. If there is one thing I could go back in my life and do over it would be that one. 

I've started tracking all the calories I eat for the past two weeks. Although it is really hard I notice when I do that I take a lot of the influence and power that food has over me. I've used food as a coping mechanism for most of my life. That and alcohol and cigarettes. I really just need to get back into my healthy weight range since I am about 15 pounds out of it. My goal is to loose 10 and then work from there. In the past I have set some really lofty goals that seem unattainable and then I give up. Right now I eat 1600 calories a day. I eat really healthy and incorporate a lot of fruits and vegetable in my diet to begin with. But I really like chocolate and breads. It is always eye opening when I look at the calories of foods with a lot of carbs and sugar. So far I have lost 2.5 pounds. Its a start. Tracking my calories also motivates me to exercise more because it allows me to eat more. And when I am really feeling unmotivated I watch Biggest Loser and pretend that Jillian Michaels is yelling at me.

I've been doing a lot of yoga since my car accident. Yoga and spinning is really the only activities that don't aggravate my knee. My goal has is to be able to easily do a head stand again. Once upon a time when I was 19 and 25 pounds lighter and waaay more limber I could get into a head stand much easier. Its good to have goals.  

I will say by far my least favorite pose is pigeon. Its not hard to get into but its just hard to sink into and be comfortable in. My hips feel like they are crushing into each other and my pelvis is going to snap in half.
The insurance companies have been really good with my accident. So far I have been paid $4400 from the other driver's insurance. My is finally fixed and we picked it up yesterday. Bradley and I had been sharing a car and that is just rough. I had to take last Tuesday off to go to the orthopedic doctor to look at my knee. Of course the one thing I hurt is my knee that has already had 3 surgeries on it. Its not healing correctly so they are going to give me some shots to lubricate the inside of my knee. If that doesn't work they are going to have to repeat the knee surgery I had just over a year ago where they scope it and shave down the bones. Lovely knee.

Last month I applied to graduate school and I am still living in limbo right now waiting for the University of Texas in Austin to tell me if I am accepted into their art education masters program. Its weird for me not having any idea where I might be this time next year.  I am a big planner so not knowing or having an idea kills me.